In my experience coaching 100’s of people I have found that quite often clients will say “I used be so forceful and now I am so empathic, almost too much so…” or “I was very thoughtful and caring about people but now I find after coaching I am very driven and assertive”. These statements point to the phenomenon of the ‘pendulum effect’.
Quite often when people make major behavioral adjustments they over compensate for the change they are making and a dominant person can be too accepting or a social person too introverted and so on. This is not a bad thing as long as you find your way back to the centre. The centre point of the pendulum’s swing only makes sense once the extremes on both sides have been visited. Pushing your behviour on each side of the pendulum is a great thing as you create real awareness of the extremes of your behavior, in doing this it allows you to find your ‘middle ground’ and success.
Think about it like learning to drive. When you first steer a car you understeer and then oversteer, taking corners too sharply or too wide. After time you get a feel for the right line and you drive smooth and easy. The concept of Yin and Yang is the same – find balance. My new book the 5 States of Success also talks at length about achieving this balance.
So my advice is to be brave, experience the pendulum effect, understeer and oversteer and find the middle ground the centre point that works best for you.
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