In my experience coaching 100’s of people I have found that quite often clients will say “I used be so forceful and now I am so empathic, almost too much so…” or “I was very thoughtful and caring about people but now I find after coaching I am very driven and assertive”. These statements point to the phenomenon of the ‘pendulum effect’.
Quite often when people make major behavioral adjustments they over compensate for the change they are making and a dominant person can be too accepting or a social person too introverted and so on. This is not a bad thing as long as you find your way back to the centre. The centre point of the pendulum’s swing only makes sense once the extremes on both sides have been visited. Pushing your behviour on each side of the pendulum is a great thing as you create real awareness of the extremes of your behavior, in doing this it allows you to find your ‘middle ground’ and success.
Think about it like learning to drive. When you first steer a car you understeer and then oversteer, taking corners too sharply or too wide. After time you get a feel for the right line and you drive smooth and easy. The concept of Yin and Yang is the same – find balance. My new book the 5 States of Success also talks at length about achieving this balance.
So my advice is to be brave, experience the pendulum effect, understeer and oversteer and find the middle ground the centre point that works best for you.
PS If you like it, share it! (it makes it all worthwhile then!!! )))) Also a big please, please, please for some FB “LIKE” on www.facebook.com/brendanfoley.net and tell your friends. It’s where details of FREE iPhone app, review copies of book and CDs happen as well as updates and posts.
All of us want success and we all want happiness. In our careers these do not often come in pairs and if anything more success can bring about more unhappiness. By understanding our masculine and feminine energy we may be able to bring balance to our working lives that will yield not just success but also greater happiness.
On the surface it may seem that masculine and feminine energy have little to do with the way that a career will progress. Most people imagine that when this topic is mentioned that we are talking about gender equality in the workforce. It has nothing to do with this!
What we are referring to are the qualities of what we might call Yin (feminine) or Yang (masculine) energy. These energies both exist in every person. How these energies are used in the work place and are encouraged defines the type of balance and success that the business will have. Just to take your mind away away from stereo types regarding gender in work… I have a client that is an engineer, typically seen as a masculine profession who is very caring, easy and reflective as a person (feminine traits). His wife on the other hand is a nurse again a profession seen as mostly female led. She is ambitious, driving and highly focused (masculine traits). In this case he is displaying more feminine qualities and in doing so achieves success by bringing people with him and encouraging others. While his wife’s success is a product of her focus, attention to detail and energy to get the job done.
Both approaches bring this couple success and when together they balance each other. However where they have struggles is when they are apart and in his case he just uses his feminine energy and in her case she just uses her masculine energy. The imbalance will manifest in that he will tend to leave things till the last minute and lack the focus to complete tasks, this leads to him being a bad time manager and putting himself under a lot of stress and pressure equalling unhappiness. While her challenge will be in relating in an empathetic and caring way to her patients so that they feel cared for. When they feel she is too ‘business’ like they don’t feel the personal connection, this in turn leads to her feeling she does not connect well with people and then compares herself to other nurses who do. The next effect of this is she doesn’t grow or develop emotionally and again can feel unhappy.
The solution for this couple would be to work on their weaker sides to bring them out more and in doing so would achieve greater success in work but and feel happier about themselves. What can you bring out today for greater balance and therefore happiness in your career?
For more answers pick up a copy of The Yin yang Complex in your local store (Ireland) or go to our shop on this site www.brendanfoley.net
This is an interesting piece that I did with Martin King and Sybil Mulcahy on their Morning Show on TV3. The part of the book that really interested them was the relationships part and in particular how you can balance your masculine and feminine energy to create better relationships. It was a great experience doing TV and let’s hope there is some more! Enjoy the short clip and tell your friends…
We had a fantastic night on Friday with over 120 people crammed into Dubray Books in Dun Laoghaire. We had great music from Niall Colfer and Fionnuala Gill. It was an absolute pleasure to see everyone there, my sincere thanks, Brendan.
Pat Kenny gave the book a great mention on his radio show along with some other really great books. The book is available on general release country wide from the 15th of January (all weather permitting!) Enjoy and thanks to Easons and Today with Pat Kenny!
I was very moved when i watched this young girl talk to the assembled UN delegates for climate change and environment. What she is talking about is the feminine energy that seeks to nourish all, yet she uses her masculine energy to take action. A beautiful combination of cause (yin/feminine) joined with action (yang/masculine).
I went to a great lecture today on Twitter, Facebook and Blogging. I t was great and has given me a real appetite to get everything up and running for the up coming launch of The Yin Yang Complex.
Welcome to the brendanfoley.net website of author Brendan Foley. Here you will find information about The Yin Yang Complex, my first work which shows you how to create balance in your world by understanding your masculine and feminine energy.
)))) Also a big please, please, please for some FB “LIKE” on www.facebook.com/brendanfoley.net and tell your friends. It’s where details of FREE iPhone app, review copies of book and CDs happen as well as updates and posts.
