Posts Tagged ‘Coaching’

How to feel positive, No.3 – Be in the now

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

It’s the simplest tool and techniques that I know for positivity – be in the now. Learn how and why from this, the third part in our 10 part series about creating positivity in your life. As always if it works for you it will work for somebody else please share – have a great day! Brendan.

‘Fight or flight’ in the boardroom – the antedote

Thursday, November 4th, 2010

While we may see ourselves as a very advanced and intellectual species we are in fact fundamentally influenced by our ancient roots. You and I are living today because our ancestors stretching back from now to about 150,000 years ago all had an excellent sense of ‘fight and flight’. This instinct kept them alive and hence we are here today. In terms of evolution therefore this sense is very highly rated. It is however the Achilles heel of many and something I am called upon to coach on a regular basis.

Do you ever find yourself in a professional setting frightened to speak when the CEO asks you a question? Do you ever get angry and see red when challenged in business? Do you avoid situations of conflict? Do you go quite or freeze under pressure? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then you have experienced the ‘fight or flight’ response. The ‘fight or flight’ response is generated by the reptilian part of our brain which is the oldest part of the brain. When activated it bypasses the neo-coretex (thinking brain) and the limbic brain (emotional brain). As we know the result is we can’t think or feel clearly as our psychology thinks we are being attacked. In this state we are unable to make good decisions and are unable to communicate in a clear rational and empathetic manner.

To counter this try this process :-

1. Become aware of the feeling.

2. Realise that this response is being driven by fear of the future or unresolved emotion from the past.

3. Breath into your belly not your chest (this triggers a relaxation response)

4. Bring your awareness to the now (listen, ask a question, buy time)

5. Only now offer a comment, solution or approach

This method works whenever the ‘fight or flight’ response is triggered, it can be used in sport, business or relationships with equal effect.

Find this useful? Please share on FB or tweet – Have a cracking day! Brendan.

The revolution will not be televised

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

The title of this post taken from the famous Gil Scott-Heron song of the same name, nicely captures the essence of a really fascinating conversation I had recently with a group of like minded coaches and business people. We were all reflecting on how a large number of people that we interact with were feeling very negative due to the state of the economy. It quickly transpired that most of these people were basing their emotional state on factors outside of themselves. This is perhaps the most risky and reckless strategy you can employ if you want happiness and meaningful success in your life.

Happiness is not created by external forces; be that money, sex, food, perceived success, share prices and so on. Real happiness comes from inside and is a CHOICE. When someone chooses to be truly happy they let go of their attachment to outside forces and embrace change and flux. That is to say that chaos becomes seen as synchronicity and rather than fighting the tide you learn to swim with it to get where you want to go. I know plenty of businesses and people who are embracing this fact and thriving in the so called recession.

Interestingly this same concept or approach to life creates a silent revolution. If I choose not to react to the negativity around me and concentrate on feeling happy and positive then I affect others in a very positive way. I am conscious that as I write this Ireland has broken all records to date with the size of the national debt. Criticising the banks, the Government or others won’t change a thing and all I will do is feel negative. This will affect my ability to do good business today and to be positive company for my family and others. If we all got on with our real job; being happy, then the mess will sort itself out. So start the revolution today CHOOSE happiness and fly in the face of those who will try to drag you down. Inspire them. Lift them and in doing so we will start a revolution that will not be televised but will lead us all to meaningful success.

Please retweet, Facebook or email link to others and help start the revolution! Thanks and have a brilliant day, Brendan.