Here is a TV3 appearance on the Morning Show where I discuss “The 5 States of Success” my latest book. Enjoy and please share!
Posts Tagged ‘Balance’
Today I was asked by three different clients “what should I read, to help my self development/business?”.
So in response I have created what I’m calling my top 10 ‘must haves’ as part of any self development collection. All these books are available on Amazon or in most book stores.
In no particular order;
1. Synchrodestiny by Deepak Chopra
2. The Tipping Point and Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (two separate books)
3. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay
4. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
5. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers
6. My Stroke of Insight by Dr Gill Bolte Taylor (also check her out on TED tv)
7. SPIN Selling by Neil Rackham
8. Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
9. The Monk who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Scharma
10. Born To Win by John Bertrand
I won’t be as vain as to include The Yin Yang Complex and The 5 States of Success by Brendan Foley but you might consider them for your library!!
Have you got a book that you feel should be on the top 10 ‘Must Haves’ for success and personal development? If so please leave a comment on this post so that others can benefit from your knowledge.
As always please share this post – it’s passing positive karma forward !!! Have great day, Brendan.
What is meaningful success and how do you create it in you life, career and business. Here are the answers.
PLEASE SHARE! THIS CLIP CAN REALLY HELP YOU BUT MAY HELP SOMEONE YOU KNOW EVEN MORE. IT’S JUST 1 CLICK! Thanks I really appreciate and am grateful for your support.
The recent leaders debate on RTE television was laughable not just for the twitterisation of complex arguments condensed into 30 second soundbites, but for the uniform way the candidates were dressed!
Each man with the exception of green party leader John Gormley wore a red tie. The reason for this is that people like myself have been saying for years that red is a colour that inspires confidence, success and is competitive. A colour you would think that would perfect for a candidates debate. Unfortunately all were reading the same book and what happened was that the ‘red ties’ all appeared as contriving to create an air of confidence.
The edge had turned into uniformity. Maybe it’s time that we all looked at ourselves and wore and spoke as a reflection of how we genuinely feel rather than putting a spin on ourselves. People buy packaging but stay loyal to a brand down to the product itself.
So ask yourself are you more packaging than product?
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Yesterday was a very strange day. It was a day of unusual experiences that for me showed the disconnect between small Irish businesses and the principles of success. Two main experiences summed it up for me;
1. A credit note at a hardware store
2. A protest by subcontractors
The hardware experience.
I had to return an ash can, bought the day before, that was unsuitable for our requirements to a local family run hardware store. They did not have the size that I required and the owners first reaction on presenting the item back to him was – “You know I can only give you a credit note on that!”. I was a little taken aback at his abruptness and asked “why is that?”. Amazingly (as the store owner) he said “company policy”. As if the ‘the company’ was some faceless bureaucratic management structure far removed from the store! I said that I was a good customer and was prepared to take my business to the big national hardware stores where I could get a refund on an unused item bought the day before. His reaction was “well make sure you spend your credit note before you do!”. I left feeling like I had been swindled. It was only €50.00 but the principles of the man left me sick. Was my €50.00 worth more than the previous hundreds and possibly thousands that I could leave his store in the future? Obviously not. This is a classic case of small business myopia (short sightedness) that is rampant in Ireland.
The second moment of truth for me was watching a Prime Time TV report on small building sub-contractors protesting outside the gates of building firms that have gone bust. Their fear and myopia was pouring all their energy into protesting and pleading for money they were owed. What good can that possibly do their business? They have little or no chance of getting their money. All they are really doing is venting their anger. While I can sympathise with how they are feeling surely pouring their energy into new business ideas and development would better serve their cause? This would ensure their future to be positive and uplifting, rather than living in the past, which will acheive nothing for their cause.
What these two stories illustrate is how short sightedness and fear based attitudes can prevent us from creating meaningful success. You can overcome fear or myopia for you or your business by asking;
What do you need to let go of today that will allow you to move forward?
What can you put your energy into that will yield a great return?
What do you need to stand back from to see the big picture?
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In my experience coaching 100’s of people I have found that quite often clients will say “I used be so forceful and now I am so empathic, almost too much so…” or “I was very thoughtful and caring about people but now I find after coaching I am very driven and assertive”. These statements point to the phenomenon of the ‘pendulum effect’.
Quite often when people make major behavioral adjustments they over compensate for the change they are making and a dominant person can be too accepting or a social person too introverted and so on. This is not a bad thing as long as you find your way back to the centre. The centre point of the pendulum’s swing only makes sense once the extremes on both sides have been visited. Pushing your behviour on each side of the pendulum is a great thing as you create real awareness of the extremes of your behavior, in doing this it allows you to find your ‘middle ground’ and success.
Think about it like learning to drive. When you first steer a car you understeer and then oversteer, taking corners too sharply or too wide. After time you get a feel for the right line and you drive smooth and easy. The concept of Yin and Yang is the same – find balance. My new book the 5 States of Success also talks at length about achieving this balance.
So my advice is to be brave, experience the pendulum effect, understeer and oversteer and find the middle ground the centre point that works best for you.
PS If you like it, share it! (it makes it all worthwhile then!!! )))) Also a big please, please, please for some FB “LIKE” on www.facebook.com/brendanfoley.net and tell your friends. It’s where details of FREE iPhone app, review copies of book and CDs happen as well as updates and posts.
I was asked a whopper of a question last night – Do you still believe in all this (Yin/Yang)? I was intrigued as to why the question was asked and on reflection I could see that the question was prompted by that person themselves reflecting the feeling of the masses; everything they used to believe in has crumbled; religion, government, the stock-market…
In these times of change what is great is that universal patterns such as the balance of masculine and feminine, polarity and the eternal dance of + and – don’t change. They are every present and in fact can give us a sense of consistency when the organs of state, church and finance collapse. Especially when they collapse because of imbalance! It is like the spinning of the world, we can’t feel it but it is ever present, consistency beneath a surface that is ever-changing. So do I still believe? No, because yin and yang, inward and outward, masculine and feminine are not a BELIEF they are FACT. And because they are ever present they are unnoticed and subtle, yet in understanding their unchanging nature we can understand change itself. This allows us to embrace the changes happening in the world and our lives and that is not a bad thing.
The American motivational speaker Tony Robbins talks about WAGs and BAGs in terms of goals setting, namely being Wildly Audacious Goals or Big Audacious Goals. In my experience people have no problem in setting WAGs or BAGs rather most people struggle on how to chunk, phase or break down their goal into a path that can lead to the BAG or WAG being successfully achieved.
Recently I coached a well-known TV celebrity that on the surface looked very successful and certainly had no shortage of work. He was happy, good at what he does but for all that he was not earning or bringing home enough to stop himself regularly ending up in his over-draft and yet was not a big spender.
My client is a great goal setter, in fact he is too good as he has too many goals and therefore is distracted from the most important goals! The first challenge for him is to priortise his goals. I use a simple 3 step formula to do this;
1. Do I/will I enjoy reaching this goal?
2. Do I/will I get a reward (money, love, health…) from this goal?
3. What cost if any will pursuing this goals have on my life?
The next challenge for him is that he does not chunk his goals into manageable pieces. To use the well worn cliche “how do you eat an elephant?”, “with a spoon”! Which is a nice way of saying you have to start by turning your goal into small pieces. I like to ‘chunk’ goals by what I can achieve in 1 day and then make a list of these chunks. In this manner it becomes easy as your daily goal becomes very achievable and effortlessly moves you closer and closer to your BAG or WAG.
So ask yourself today;
1. What would I like to achieve?
2. Ask the enjoy, reward, cost question of it?
3. Then break it out into daily chunks
Have a great day. PLEASE share this because every time you share one of these stories YOU could be helping someone to create “meaningful’ success in their life! So please FaceBook share and Twitter.
If love be the sustenance of the heart, creativity the sustenance of the mind then meditation is the sustenance of the spirit.Tuesday, October 12th, 2010
If love be the sustenance of the heart, creativity the sustenance of the mind and food the sustenance of the body then meditation is the sustenance of the spirit. – Brendan Foley
When conducting a coaching session I often ask people to score their lives on 4 scales. A quick ready reckoner if you like to assess where an individual is creating meaningful success. I ask people to score from 0-10 how good they feel about; their mind (education, stimulation, creativity), their emotions (relationships, communication, friendships), their body (health, sleep, diet) and their spirit (essence, higher-self, connection). Most answer the first 3 categories; mind, body and emotion easily enough and almost all people stumble when asked to evaluate their spiritual health.
This failure to be able to assess or dialogue with their spirit is quite disconcerting for the individual involved. We all struggle a little to put words on what we mean by our spirit. Many of us confuse spirit with religion (another days post!) when actually pretty much everyone can tell you a balanced and happy person has success in mind body and spirit. Yet why is it so difficult to be articulate about our own spirit?
I believe that most of us have never been thought how to have that conversation with ourselves and fewer of us still make the time to have the silence to allow this real inner dialogue to happen. The good news is that this dialogue is easy and in my view meditation is one of the best ways to facilitate this conversation with the self. You do not need to know what your spirit is to start the conversation, but start it you do need to do. When you start this communication your true wisdom flows and happiness becomes easily accessible! Being in a state of Spirit is one of the 5 States of meaningful success.
Why not check out the meditation in the RESOURCES section. I would also highly recommend the free 21 day mediation programme from the Chopra centre which can be accessed online at http://www.chopracentermeditation.com/
Please share FB and retweet and together we can make today a great day!
Jan Calzon the former CEO of SAS Scandinavian Airlines popularised the concept of the ‘moment of truth’. He postulated that each and every interaction with a brand or company presented the opportunity for the customer to experience a ‘moment of truth’. This same concept can apply to us as individuals as well as to businesses and organisations.
On Friday evening I went to our local Indian take-away Bombay Pantry, one that produced great brochures and menus to appetise. When I went along to collect our meal I was amazed and experienced a moment of truth with the brand. Through the clear windows into the kitchen I saw 8-10 people busying in the kitchen. But something seemed out of order? Everyone in the kitchen was smiling and joking while working! Whether I am simply conditioned from seeing Gordon Ramsey screaming and shouting abuse in a kitchen or just have not seen other examples of positive energy in catering, I was amazed.
When the meal was brought out of the kitchen by a young Indian man he greeted the girl on the cash register with a genuine smile – a Bombay smile. I left not just with nutritional sustenance but also emotional sustenance from being in the positivity atmosphere of people who were choosing to be in a great state of positivity. This is a brilliant example of the state of connection which will be discussed in future posts.
So when people encounter you, your brand or your company what moment of truth do they experience?
Check out this short video we have made for YouTube to give an overview of the Yin Yang Complex. Hope you enjoy and if you do please pass onto others. This book really can help!
All of us want success and we all want happiness. In our careers these do not often come in pairs and if anything more success can bring about more unhappiness. By understanding our masculine and feminine energy we may be able to bring balance to our working lives that will yield not just success but also greater happiness.
On the surface it may seem that masculine and feminine energy have little to do with the way that a career will progress. Most people imagine that when this topic is mentioned that we are talking about gender equality in the workforce. It has nothing to do with this!
What we are referring to are the qualities of what we might call Yin (feminine) or Yang (masculine) energy. These energies both exist in every person. How these energies are used in the work place and are encouraged defines the type of balance and success that the business will have. Just to take your mind away away from stereo types regarding gender in work… I have a client that is an engineer, typically seen as a masculine profession who is very caring, easy and reflective as a person (feminine traits). His wife on the other hand is a nurse again a profession seen as mostly female led. She is ambitious, driving and highly focused (masculine traits). In this case he is displaying more feminine qualities and in doing so achieves success by bringing people with him and encouraging others. While his wife’s success is a product of her focus, attention to detail and energy to get the job done.
Both approaches bring this couple success and when together they balance each other. However where they have struggles is when they are apart and in his case he just uses his feminine energy and in her case she just uses her masculine energy. The imbalance will manifest in that he will tend to leave things till the last minute and lack the focus to complete tasks, this leads to him being a bad time manager and putting himself under a lot of stress and pressure equalling unhappiness. While her challenge will be in relating in an empathetic and caring way to her patients so that they feel cared for. When they feel she is too ‘business’ like they don’t feel the personal connection, this in turn leads to her feeling she does not connect well with people and then compares herself to other nurses who do. The next effect of this is she doesn’t grow or develop emotionally and again can feel unhappy.
The solution for this couple would be to work on their weaker sides to bring them out more and in doing so would achieve greater success in work but and feel happier about themselves. What can you bring out today for greater balance and therefore happiness in your career?
For more answers pick up a copy of The Yin yang Complex in your local store (Ireland) or go to our shop on this site www.brendanfoley.net