If life was an experiment there would be no success and no failure, just learnings. When an experiment is conducted, is there a right or wrong outcome? Of course not. There simply is the outcome. And from this outcome we learn. Do you beat yourself up over the things you perceive you fail at? Do you go on ego trips when you create what you see as success? If so you are like most people and that’s not a bad thing because it is what it is. But what might happen if you could let go of the concept of success and failure and instead learn from each experience in life?
What it would mean is that rather than continually judging ourselves we could move beyond success and failure and the roller coaster of highs and lows. Instead we could embrace each experience without fear, knowing that whatever happens that we will learn and grow from the outcome. This will free us to be innovative, loving, instinctive, vibrant and to live a life of continuous growth and fulfillment.
Thomas Edison the inventor of the life bulb was supposed to have ‘failed’ over 3,000 times before he got the formula right to create the light bulb. If he deemed each experiment as a failure he would surely have given up. Instead he saw each experiment as a step that took him closer to understanding what would make it work.
So the next time you find yourself thinking in terms of success or failure; reframe it. Think learning and growth and you will reap great rewards. This is the type of thinking that ultimately creates ‘meaningful’ success (success that is defined by growth and richness of experience). Try it today!
I was asked a whopper of a question last night – Do you still believe in all this (Yin/Yang)? I was intrigued as to why the question was asked and on reflection I could see that the question was prompted by that person themselves reflecting the feeling of the masses; everything they used to believe in has crumbled; religion, government, the stock-market…
In these times of change what is great is that universal patterns such as the balance of masculine and feminine, polarity and the eternal dance of + and – don’t change. They are every present and in fact can give us a sense of consistency when the organs of state, church and finance collapse. Especially when they collapse because of imbalance! It is like the spinning of the world, we can’t feel it but it is ever present, consistency beneath a surface that is ever-changing. So do I still believe? No, because yin and yang, inward and outward, masculine and feminine are not a BELIEF they are FACT. And because they are ever present they are unnoticed and subtle, yet in understanding their unchanging nature we can understand change itself. This allows us to embrace the changes happening in the world and our lives and that is not a bad thing.
Meditation has been around for thousands of years because it works. Harvard Medical School and many other notable research institutions have also endorsed the medical, emotional, physical, spiritual and mental benefits of meditation. It a great way to create ‘inner bliss’. A feeling inside that is peaceful and uplifting and that acts a reservoir of positive energy. There is no right or wrong way to meditate and each and every meditation you do will be unique. Try this short 5 minute Inner Bliss meditation and if you like it you can build it into a daily routine to create happiness and positivity in you life.
All of us want success and we all want happiness. In our careers these do not often come in pairs and if anything more success can bring about more unhappiness. By understanding our masculine and feminine energy we may be able to bring balance to our working lives that will yield not just success but also greater happiness.
On the surface it may seem that masculine and feminine energy have little to do with the way that a career will progress. Most people imagine that when this topic is mentioned that we are talking about gender equality in the workforce. It has nothing to do with this!
What we are referring to are the qualities of what we might call Yin (feminine) or Yang (masculine) energy. These energies both exist in every person. How these energies are used in the work place and are encouraged defines the type of balance and success that the business will have. Just to take your mind away away from stereo types regarding gender in work… I have a client that is an engineer, typically seen as a masculine profession who is very caring, easy and reflective as a person (feminine traits). His wife on the other hand is a nurse again a profession seen as mostly female led. She is ambitious, driving and highly focused (masculine traits). In this case he is displaying more feminine qualities and in doing so achieves success by bringing people with him and encouraging others. While his wife’s success is a product of her focus, attention to detail and energy to get the job done.
Both approaches bring this couple success and when together they balance each other. However where they have struggles is when they are apart and in his case he just uses his feminine energy and in her case she just uses her masculine energy. The imbalance will manifest in that he will tend to leave things till the last minute and lack the focus to complete tasks, this leads to him being a bad time manager and putting himself under a lot of stress and pressure equalling unhappiness. While her challenge will be in relating in an empathetic and caring way to her patients so that they feel cared for. When they feel she is too ‘business’ like they don’t feel the personal connection, this in turn leads to her feeling she does not connect well with people and then compares herself to other nurses who do. The next effect of this is she doesn’t grow or develop emotionally and again can feel unhappy.
The solution for this couple would be to work on their weaker sides to bring them out more and in doing so would achieve greater success in work but and feel happier about themselves. What can you bring out today for greater balance and therefore happiness in your career?
For more answers pick up a copy of The Yin yang Complex in your local store (Ireland) or go to our shop on this site www.brendanfoley.net
This is an interesting piece that I did with Martin King and Sybil Mulcahy on their Morning Show on TV3. The part of the book that really interested them was the relationships part and in particular how you can balance your masculine and feminine energy to create better relationships. It was a great experience doing TV and let’s hope there is some more! Enjoy the short clip and tell your friends…
We had a fantastic night on Friday with over 120 people crammed into Dubray Books in Dun Laoghaire. We had great music from Niall Colfer and Fionnuala Gill. It was an absolute pleasure to see everyone there, my sincere thanks, Brendan.
Pat Kenny gave the book a great mention on his radio show along with some other really great books. The book is available on general release country wide from the 15th of January (all weather permitting!) Enjoy and thanks to Easons and Today with Pat Kenny!
Well yin means feminine and yang means masculine. They are terms that were first used by Taoist scholars in ancient China as a mechanism to describe the duality they saw in the world. While sometimes we think of people from ancient times as simple that would be a major underestimation. As a well respected history editor once said to me ‘same minds, different times’. We can use these terms to help us understand the world we live in today. All aspects of our lives and worlds can be defined using the masculine and feminine energy.
For example if we look at the 4 aspects of being human; mind; body; spirit and emotion, we see that mind and body are masculine and spirit and emotion are feminine. Together and in balance they create harmony and success. Looking at politics we can see conservatives as masculine and liberals as feminine. Either with too much power would be bad thing but a balance of the two creates a positive balance for stability and success.
As the old irish proverb says ‘everything i moderation including moderation itself!
